April 12

Didn't remember to take AM med till roughly 2, 230  pm.
Singulair, Neurontin, 20 MG Latuda,  and I can't recall if I took the 150mg ranitidine.
I probably did, since I haven't yet thrown up.

I did start with 1.5 bottles (22 oz) of water with mio and my apple cider oat muffin . I don't recall if I ate protein with it, or after it

I know by 430pm I had eaten 4 cheese sticks.

I had also blown up emotionally, over text, face to face, and over the phone. I got caught in an over emotional loop of reaction.

Listening to Driven to Distraction, the term I wanted to use was allegedly "irritability inhibition impulsivity".

God I need to get the AdHd in check. It's not been addressed while we "work on getting bipolar under control" because AdHd is what is setting off what looks like manic, but isnt.
I am at the end of my rope. I'm tired of feeling this way.  I'm frustrated.
I hate "wait and see". It isn't proactive, and I need it to be.

After cheesesticks, tried to work on grad school stuff, and got frustrated. Tried to work on gardening stuff,  got mad and frustrated,  did it anyway, by hand, got slightly sunned (kissed? Burnt? Can't tell yet), the kitten almost caught a bird (high fived it), and went to pick dogs up from daycare . While still listening to the book and searching for the AM station that was supposed to broadcast my cousin's game. And driving. I guess I am lucky I didn't cause an accident.

Picked up Rick's BBQ otw home. Got pork and beef, with their yummy sauce, and baked and green beans. It came with buns for sandwich making. Chips too, but we didn't eat those.

By this point, normalcy was reestablishing itself .

Ate a pork BBQ sandwich with green beans, then a beef BBQ sandwich and green beans. Then 3 reduced fat oreo cookies and another bottle of mio water (22 oz).
Took bedtime Latuda (40mg)  within half an hr of eating dinner (by 730). Still having some III, but not as bad. Spread slightly from mood to action. Still too much AdHding out. Need to talk to brenna.

Drank about 20 oz of chocolate and white milk mixed before bed. Was too sweet as just chocolate milk . Helped with acids too.

Bed by 11. Wished chat would shut up so I could sleep.. fell asleep till 4 AM. But that is a different story.